The Lady of Sherwood Merlin Style!
by PagieThePanda
Summary: A humorous adaption of a play I was in at school- with the Merlin characters of course! With Arthur and Merlin safely out of Camelot, Gwen and the knights have to protect it on the inside when Morgana, Agravaine, and Mordred take over. Includes a reveal, Dragoon, sleeveless chainmail, apples, and general silliness.
1. Act I, Part 1

**YOU MUST READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE YOU READ THIS STORY!**

**Whoo. Hope that caught your attention. I just need to explain a bit. This is a play!fic, which I've never seen anyone do before. Hooray for originality! It's based off a play I was in at school this year, called Robin Hood and the Lady of Sherwood. For my best friend's birthday, I re-wrote the script with Merlin characters, since she was in the play with me. Then when I got this account, I thought, why not? Maybe someone out there will find some entertainment from this. So here you are. **

**Most of the characters are pretty OOC, by the way. This is in no means meant to be taken seriously. Pairings are canon. Spoilers through season four.**

**I also don't own Merlin.**

**Enjoy!**

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Robin Hood and the Lady of Sherwood…

Merlin Style!

_**In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man… his name? MERLIN!**_

_It is May Day in Camelot. A jousting tournament can be seen getting set up in the background as the knights and ladies dance. Coming out of the castle are Morgana, wearing her usual black dress and crazy hair and makeup, and Mordred, now a strikingly handsome but evil young man in a deep green cloak. They watch the dancing for a time._

MORDRED: I despise May Day.

MORGANA: _(her voice oozing with sarcasm) _But Mordred dear, it's such a lovely occasion. It's always wonderful to see all the people of Camelot gathering to celebrate the arrival of spring.

MORDRED: But I hate flowers. Don't press me Morgana. I am in a vile temper.

MORGANA: Oh, don't be like that. _(Agravaine enters)_

AGRAVAINE: Oh, my dear Morgana, how lovely you look in your black dress today.

MORGANA: I always wear black, Agravaine.

AGRAVAINE: Why… of course you do. I merely meant that you look…well…lovely.

MORDRED: What do you want, Agravaine?

AGRAVAINE: Watch your tongue, boy. I am the one in power here, remember? _(Morgana slowly draws her knife)_

MORGANA: Is that so, Agravaine? I thought we agreed that once we had earned the allegiance of the people of Camelot that I was to be placed into my rightful throne as Queen. You are simply holding the position until we can locate Arthur and execute him.

MORDRED: And do not forget, Lord Agravaine, that Morgana and I both have magic. And you only have greasy hair.

AGRAVAINE: Why… uh…. Yes. I apologize for my…uh…

MORGANA: Stupidity? Nobody likes you, Agravaine. Not even me.

MORDRED: Not even Guinevere and she likes everyone.

AGRAVAINE: Oh… uh… yes…

MORGANA: Just go back in the castle and put more grease in your hair. _(Agravaine looks ashamed and he walks back into the castle)_ Good riddance. That man's such a creep.

MORDRED: I can hardly blame Guinevere for despising him. He's creeped on her too.

MORGANA: We'll kill him as soon as Arthur's dead. Which should be soon, according to our plans…Speaking of which, are you certain they will work?

MORDRED: Of course the plans will work. Everyone knows that it is traditional for there to be a jousting tournament on May Day, and if there's one thing King Arthur can't resist it's a traditional jousting tournament.

MORGANA: And along with him will come his irritating servant, Merlin.

MORDRED: You will have plenty of time to take care of the servant after we have disposed of the king.

MORGANA: And I will look forward to it. _(Gwen, wearing her pretty lilac dress from season 4, breaks from the dance and comes over to Mordred and Morgana. They do not see her.) _When will the tournament begin?

GWEN: Whatever could we be discussing in such hushed tones?

MORGANA: Guinevere! We were just discussing details about the tournament.

GWEN: Please, Lady Morgana, call me Gwen. All my friends do.

MORGANA: Is that so, Guinevere?

GWEN: Uh… yes… my lady.

MORDRED: Well, I must go off to sharpen my sword. And practice making devilishly handsome evil faces in the mirror- I mean, practice my speech for this evening. _(Mordred leaves)_

MORGANA: I must be off as well. Good day, Guinevere.

GWEN: Good day, Lady Morgana. _(Morgana exits same way as Mordred. The knights, namely Leon, Lancelot, Gwaine, and Elyan, approach Gwen)_

GWAINE: Well, aren't those two fun?

ELYAN: The life of the party. What were they saying, Gwen?

GWEN: I'm not sure Elyan. Morgana told me they were just talking about the tournament, but I think there's more than that afoot.

LEON: Like what?

GWEN: They were obviously discussing something of importance… something they didn't want me to hear. I can't help but think it's about…

LANCELOT: About what?

GWEN: About Arthur.

LEON: The king? He's been in hiding for months. No one has seen him for ages.

GWAINE: Or Merlin, for that matter.

LANCELOT: And it had better stay that way until we can figure out where they are. If they even step one foot in Camelot Morgana and Mordred will kill them.

ELYAN: We would help them in an instant, but no one has any idea where they are. It's best to just pretend we're loyal to Morgana until they show up.

GWEN: I don't like it.

GWAINE: No one does, Gwen. But we have no choice.

LANCELOT: Morgana and Mordred would certainly kill us if they knew where our true loyalties lie, and we're no use to Arthur dead.

GWEN: I know, I know. But that still doesn't mean I like it. Let's talk about something happier, it is May Day, after all. Who were those girls I saw you all flirting with earlier?

GWAINE: Oh, you've got it all wrong. These three were just watching in awe as all the ladies professed their undying love for me. I didn't do anything.

LEON: Yeah right, Gwaine. You were practically slobbering all over them.

GWAINE: I do not slobber! But you've got to admit, those ladies liked the look of me…

ELYAN: If only that were true. Now come on, we've got to start preparing for the joust.

LEON: I wish Arthur could be here. He couldn't resist jousting tournaments. Or any kind of tournament for that matter. _(Elyan, Gwaine, and Leon exit, ad libbing about the tournament. Lancelot stays with Gwen)_

LANCELOT: Gwen, are you alright?

GWEN: Yes, I'm fine. I just really miss Arthur.

LANCELOT: I'm sure he's fine. Besides, he's got Merlin with him.

GWEN: I know, and I'm grateful for that, really. But I don't think Merlin would be much help in the middle of a fight. He can barely wield a sword.

LANCELOT: You'd be surprised…

GWEN: What do you mean?

LANCELOT: Uh… nothing.

GWEN: I'm just worried about what Morgana and Mordred are planning. And I could tell they were plotting something because Morgana would not stop smirking.

LANCELOT: She should really learn to control her facial muscles. She'll never be able to keep a plot secret with that smirk.

GWEN: You should get going, Lancelot. My brother was right, you need to prepare for the joust.

LANCELOT: Yes, I know. I just don't want you feeling…lonely.

GWEN: Thank you Lancelot. That means a lot to me. Now get going or you'll never be ready.

LANCELOT: As you wish, my Lady. _(he kisses her hand and exits) _

_(Gwen watches him leave. As he exits an old man walks on upstage, apparently lost. He is wearing a long red robe and has a long white beard and hair ._**GUESS WHO?**_He sees Gwen and walks toward her.)_

OLD MAN: Pardon me, my daughter-

GWEN: Ah! Who are you? And why are you calling me daughter?

OLD MAN: Hey, don't freak out! I just called you daughter 'cause that's what we old people do to younger people… call them son and daughter and stuff.

GWEN: I still don't know who you are!

OLD MAN: Fine! I'll tell you. I am called… ahem….DRAGOON! The great.

GWEN: Oh, I remember you! You were the sorcerer who told Uther you'd enchanted Arthur and me to be in love… but weren't enchanted…

DRAGOON: Yes, that was me…

GWEN: And you're the sorcerer who Arthur said killed Uther! _(she pulls a knife out of a hidden sheath on her leg) _What are you doing here?

DRAGOON: Hey, woah there Gwen! I didn't kill Uther! _(he hits his head when he realizes he called Gwen by name.)_

GWEN: How did you know my name?

DRAGOON: I know more than you can possibly comprehend!

GWEN: What is that supposed to mean?

DRAGOON: Hey, I don't know! It's worked before!

GWEN: You're making no sense.

DRAGOON: I usually don't. Gah, this went so much better in my head.

GWEN: What are you doing here? Are you coming to make an alliance with Morgana, seeing as you both have magic?

DRAGOON: Why would I ever want to ally myself with that traitor? No, I'm here to warn you. And put that knife away.

GWEN: Why should I? And how can I believe anything you say?

DRAGOON: Because… because… _(she gets closer with the knife_) I said put that away! _(he uses magic to sheath it)_ That's better.

GWEN: Hey! That's not fair!

DRAGOON: I'm not going to hurt you, Gwen.

GWEN: But you're a sorcerer…

DRAGOON: That doesn't mean I'm evil. I've always protected Arthur. And Camelot. And you, for that matter. You said yourself that you and Arthur weren't enchanted to be in love. But Uther thought you were and was going to execute you.

GWEN: But he didn't… because you told him you did it. And that you'd enchanted me too.

DRAGOON: Exactly!

GWEN: But… why?

DRAGOON: Because I'm your friend. And Arthur's friend. And I always will be.

GWEN: But… I swear I've never actually met you before, but you seem really familiar. Are you in disguise?

DRAGOON: Wow, I'm impressed. Arthur never quite figured that part out.

GWEN: So you are in disguise.

DRAGOON: Maaaaybe. But I digress. I'm here to warn you.

GWEN: Warn me? Of what?

DRAGOON: Arthur's being a complete and utter idiotic prat. And he calls ME the idiot…

GWEN: Wait, what? You know were Arthur is?

DRAGOON: Uh, yeah. I do. But that's not the point. The point is is that no matter what kind of wisdom and counsel his excellent, efficient, intelligent, and underappreciated servant gives him, Arthur is coming to the jousting tournament.

GWEN: What! That's suicide!

DRAGOON: I know, that's what I- his servant told him.

GWEN: Arthur needs to listen to Merlin more.

DRAGOON: Gwen, I always knew you were an incredible and lovely person, but now you've just proven that you are worthy of even greater praise.

GWEN: Is Merlin coming with Arthur?

DRAGOON: No…his royal prattishness is forcing Merlin to stay where they are. He says that the two of them together would be too recognizable. As if Arthur on his own wouldn't be noticed anyway…

GWEN: I must tell the knights.

DRAGOON: Yeah, tell them. Maybe they can intercept him before he gets himself killed.

GWEN: No… I think this is the chance we've been waiting for. This may be our chance get Morgana, Mordred, and Agravaine out of here.

DRAGOON: Oh, yeah. That too. Well, I'd better get going. Don't want Arthur to find me here when he gets here. Bye! _(he hobbles offstage) _

GWEN: That was strange. And he called Arthur a prat… The only person who calls Arthur that is… But no. That's impossible.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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**Well? Whaddaya think? Was it stupid? Funny? Just downright strange? I have the whole play written out already, so just let me know if I should continue posting! **

**In the next section, we meet Percival! And Arthur and Merlin show up! That's exciting! Right? **


	2. Act I, Part 2

**Here's part 2! The friend I wrote this play for is a character in this part- Lisa. That's not actually her name, by the way. :)**

**Enjoy!**

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_(Percival and Lisa walk onstage, Lisa hugely pregnant. She collapses into a faint and Percival, wearing his sleeveless chainmail as usual and looking quite attractive, scoops her up into his arms and looks around in panic.)_

PERCIVAL: Hello! Please help me!

GWEN: Over here!

PERCIVAL: Can you help me? She just collapsed!

GWEN: Bring her here.

_(Percival carries her over to Gwen and puts her down gently on the ground beside her.)_

PERCIVAL: I think the heat was too much for her.

GWEN: Do you have water?

PERCIVAL: _(Handing her a skin)_ Here.

GWEN: Your wife?

PERCIVAL: My sister.

GWEN: Where is her husband?

PERCIVAL: He was a guard of Camelot. And you know how long those last.

GWEN: Oh, yes. I'm sorry.

PERCIVAL: No harm done. Besides, the guards have to be thick. Otherwise the good guys who are wrongly imprisoned can't escape the night before their execution.

GWEN: Good point.

PERCIVAL: How is she?

GWEN: She shall be fine. She must be near her time. (Lisa wakes up)

LISA: Past it I think.

GWEN: Then why on earth are you traveling?

LISA: We heard that the physician in Camelot is the best in all of Albion.

GWEN: Oh, you've heard of Gaius! Why yes, he is the best.

LISA: We were hoping he could assist in the birth.

GWEN: I see. Unfortunately, Gaius is really busy at the moment. Morgana, Mordred, and Agravaine aren't the kindest of rulers… People are getting injured a lot more of late.

LISA: Oh dear.

GWEN: But don't worry, I'm sure Gaius will be able to help you. What are your names?

PERCIVAL: This is Lisa.

GWEN: _(looking at Percival)_ And yours?

PERCIVAL: I am called Percival of the Epic Rippling Muscles and Sleeveless Chainmail.

GWEN: Oh. Nice name.

PERCIVAL: Why thank you.

GWEN: Okay. Well, I've got to go talk to the knights about something… I'll be back in a little while and I'll help you find Gaius.

PERCIVAL: Alright. But don't take too long.

GWEN: I shan't be a moment. _(she exits)_

LISA: She won't be a moment? So she'll be gone much longer than that? That's reassuring.

PERCIVAL: Let's hope she'll at least be back in Act two to get all the knights ready to attack Morgana and Mordred to rescue me, Arthur and Merlin from certain death.

LISA: Hey! You're not supposed to give away the plot!

PERCIVAL: But you already know the plot, Lisa! You've been in this show before!

LISA: Not exactly. My name was Danielle before. And this version of the show is all tweaked with BBC Merlin-ness.

PERCIVAL: We totally should have done this version of the show. It's way more…uh…

LISA: Magical?

PERCIVAL: I was going to say something about sleeveless chainmail, but that sounds good too.

_(Morgana, Mordred, and Agravaine walk on in the background, deep in conversation. They don't see Lisa and Percival)_

LISA: Oh, look, there are the bad guys.

PERCIVAL: I guess that means the plot's finally moving forward.

MORGANA: I don't care what you think, Agravaine! The jousting tournament is going to be the perfect trap to catch Arthur!

AGRAVAINE: But what about Emrys, Morgana? Have you forgotten about him?

MORDRED: Don't worry. If Arthur comes, Emrys is sure to come too. Then we can kill them both.

MORGANA: Are you certain Emrys will come?

MORDRED: Of course he will! Have you ever seen the two of them apart? They're inseparable.

MORGANA: Wait, what do you mean? I've never seen Emrys with Arthur!

MORDRED: That's impossible. He is posing as his manservant after all.

AGRAVAINE: What? Arthur's manservant?

MORDRED: You didn't know?

MORGANA: But his name is Merlin! Not Emrys!

MORDRED: Geez, are all Pendragons this thick? Come on Morgana, think! How could Merlin know as much as he does and foil so many of our plans and NOT be Emrys? If he were the simple serving boy he acts like he is, Camelot would have been ours years ago.

MORGANA: But...but…

MORDRED: Oh, stop with the pathetic whimpering already. You've got to admit it makes perfect sense.

AGRAVAINE: _(Seeing Percival and Lisa)_ My Lady! We are not alone!

PERCIVAL: Oh, hello there.

LISA: About time you noticed us. I was getting bored.

MORGANA: What were you doing there, spying on us?

PERCIVAL: Uh, no. But since that's what the plot calls for, then you can think that.

LISA: Percival, stop talking about the plot! It takes the audience out of the story!

MORDRED: Well, since the plot calls for it…. Knights!

PERCIVAL: Here we go!

_(the knights come running on)_

LEON: What is it, Lord Mordred?

MORDRED: Arrest these two.

ELYAN: The peasant and his wife?

LISA: He's my brother. My husband was a guard.

LANCELOT: Oh. I'm sorry.

MORGANA: They are spies. And the one with the sleeveless chainmail keeps talking about the plot and giving it away to the audience.

AGRAVAINE: He must die!

MORGANA: Uh… yes. Yes! He must die!

GWAINE: They don't look like spies.

MORDRED: So what? Are you loyal to us or are you not? Arrest them!

GWAINE: Hmmm… well, since you asked, we are actually loyal to-

LEON_: (with a glare at Gwaine)_ Morgana! Uh, yeah. Not you, Lord Mordred. So… yeah.

MORGANA: Leon. You surprise me. I thought you would always be loyal to Arthur.

LEON: Well… times change, Lady Morgana.

MORGANA: So it seems. But at any rate, you should all know by now that an order from Mordred is the same as an order from me.

AGRAVAINE: And the same for me!

MORGANA: No. Shut up Agravaine.

MORDRED: You heard Lady Morgana! Arrest them!

GWAINE: _(quietly to others)_ Should we?

ELYAN: I'm not sure.

LANCELOT: Arthur would never approve.

LEON: We must keep the act up. If they suspect where our true loyalties are it'll be over for us.

GWAINE: So we arrest them?

LEON: We have no other choice.

ELYAN: Besides, if what Gwen just told us is true, Arthur will be here later. We'll all need to be alert to make sure he stays safe.

LANCELOT: Fine. But I don't like it.

LEON: None of us do.

AGRAVAINE: What are you four whispering about? Arrest them!

MORGANA: Agravaine, what about shut up don't you get?

AGRAVAINE: I was just-

MORGANA: No! Shut up! And knights, arrest them already!

ELYAN: Oh, fine. You two. Come with us.

PERCIVAL: Oh, good, you're finally arresting me. I thought it would never get to this part in the show.

LISA: Percival! What did I say about talking about the show while you're in the show?

PERCIVAL: _(ignoring her)_ Let's battle then! I'll use my epic bow staff! Oh, and run, Lisa. You don't get arrested.

LISA: Thank heavens for that. Imagine getting stuck in a cell with you for the rest of the show. _(she heaves herself up and runs offstage)_

_(The knights and Percival engage in battle. The knights go fairly easy on him, since Percival knows the plot, and knows that he has to be arrested. Otherwise the fight would have been a lot dirtier, and one or two of the knights would probably have died or become seriously wounded, and that would be horrible. But I digress. The fact is that Percival was defeated by the knights.)_

MORDRED: Resisting was foolish, peasant.

PERCIVAL: Hey, that wasn't resisting. If I hadn't known that I'm supposed to get arrested for the sake of the plot-

MORGANA: Would you stop talking about the plot already?

AGRAVAINE: Yeah, stop- _(Morgana gives him a glare)_ Shutting up.

MORDRED: Enough. Knights, take him within. _(the knights walk Percival into the castle)_

MORGANA: Well, now that that's taken care of, let's go inside and plot insidiously about how we'll kill that peasant. And Arthur when we catch him.

MORDRED: And don't forget about Emrys!

MORGANA: Yes, of course…Emrys. Or rather, Merlin. _(they walk into the castle)_

_(Gwen and Lisa come running onstage together, Gwen supporting Lisa)_

GWEN: Are you sure the knights arrested your brother?

LISA: Yup. I was there, wasn't I?

GWEN: And Morgana and Mordred are going to kill him?

LISA: Uh huh.

GWEN: Shouldn't you be freaking out a little bit more? I mean, your brother is going to be executed.

LISA: Naw. He'll be fine. He knows the plot, after all.

GWEN: That's true. _(the knights come back onstage from the castle)_ Oh, there you all are!

ELYAN: Okay, Gwen, I know what you're going to say, but we had to arrest him.

LANCELOT: If we hadn't then Morgana and Mordred would've gotten a whiff of where our true loyalties lie.

GWAINE: And getting in epic sword fights with huge guys in sleeveless chainmail is really fun.

LEON: Gwaine, you say that like you've done it before…

GWAINE: What can I say? I've been around.

LISA: Look, not to be complaining or anything, but I'm kinda gonna have a baby any minute now, so…

GWEN: Oh, right, Gaius! Come, I'll take you to him.

LANCELOT: No, Gwen, we'll take her. We did just arrest her brother, after all.

GWEN: You sure? Alright, go ahead and take her.

LISA: Oh, thanks. Leaving me with these doofuses. _(the knights lead her offstage)._

_(Gwen watches them go, then sits down on a rock thinking. Behind her a man in all armor, including a face-shielding helmet, walks on. He sees her and approaches.)_

MAN: Why hello there, my lovely.

GWEN: Are you talking to me?

MAN: Of course! Do you not think that you are lovely?

GWEN: Gwaine, is that you? I thought I sent you off with Lisa.

MAN: What gives you the idea that I'm Gwaine?

GWEN: He's the only one I've ever heard flirt like that. But you're not Gwaine. You sound like…

MAN: Like…

GWEN: Someone I know very, very, well… _(she approaches the man, nearly holding him, not noticing as Merlin enters behind them)_

MERLIN: Arthur! I've got- Oh.

ARTHUR (who, in fact, was the man): Merlin! You just blew my cover! And what on earth are you doing here, anyway?

MERLIN: Coming to save your life! What else?

ARTHUR: I'll deal with you and your dollop-headed schemes to save me in a moment. _(turning back to Gwen) _Guinevere, I didn't want to tell you who I was, I meant to keep it a secret-

GWEN: Arthur, I knew it was you the moment I looked at you. Just because your face is covered doesn't mean you're completely disguised.

MERLIN: Told you.

ARTHUR: Shut up Merlin. Guinevere, I've missed you so much…

GWEN: And I you, Arthur. Oh, I'm so glad you're safe! _(Gwen removes Arthur's helmet, revealing the king in all his glory! Huzzah! They hold each other and kiss, Merlin shuffling in the background)_

MERLIN: Awkward…

ARTHUR: Speak for yourself, Merlin.

GWEN: Arthur, you can't stay here, Morgana and Mordred know you're coming, they're setting a trap for you!

MERLIN: Aaaand I told you about that one too…

ARTHUR: Shut UP, Merlin!

GWEN: No, Arthur, Merlin's right, you've got to go before they find you out here-

ARTHUR: I can't Gwen. I need to compete in the tournament.

GWEN: How could that be more important than your life?

ARTHUR: …It's a tradition. Besides, I'm not just going to compete in the tournament. I'm going to win it!

MERLIN: Could his head get any bigger?

GWEN: Don't do this, Arthur, it's suicide!

MERLIN: Gwen, I've learned over the years that Arthur seems to think that taking on challenges that more than likely will result in his death is a great pastime. Best not argue too much. He doesn't listen.

ARTHUR: But HE can still throw you in the stocks, remember?

MERLIN: Um, actually, seeing as Morgana has usurped the throne, no. He can't.

ARTHUR: Merlin, why on earth did you come here, anyway? I told you to stay back!

MERLIN: I know, I know, but you know me, do I ever obey orders?

GWEN: Arthur, you really do need to leave! Things are bad enough right now without you getting arrested too!

ARTHUR: Guinevere. I won't get arrested. No one will know it was me.

MERLIN: That's already been proven false…

ARTHUR: Merlin_! (the castle doors swing open and Morgana, Mordred, and Agravaine walk out silently, watching the scene take place)_ Gwen knows me better than anyone here. I'm sure that no one will be able to recognize that I am actually King Arthur Pendragon besides her!

MORDRED: Oh, look everyone, it's King Arthur Pendragon!

MERLIN: You were saying?

ARTHUR: Merlin, do I need to say it again?

MERLIN: Say what again?

ARTHUR: Shut up!

MORGANA: Why hello, dear brother. How nice of you to drop in!

ARTHUR: Morgana, this is ridiculous. Stop pretending like you are able to rule over Camelot. That's my job.

MORGANA: Not for long.

GWEN: Lady Morgana, please, you already have what you want, you have all of Camelot! You don't need to kill Arthur as well!

MORGANA: Stay out of this Guinevere!

MERLIN: Gwen's right, Morgana! Leave Arthur out of this!

MORGANA: You both know I cannot rule over Camelot until I dispose of its ruler. And now I have him in my clutches.

ARTHUR: Gwen, Merlin, stay out of this!

MORDRED: Oh, but King Arthur, they are both already too far in. Especially Merlin. Or should I say… Emrys?

MERLIN: Shoot. There goes one of the biggest secrets of my life.

ARTHUR: Huh? Emrys?

MORGANA: Imagine my shock at discovering who you were, Merlin. How you betrayed me.

MERLIN: Uh, actually, I think you've got it wrong. You're the one who betrayed me, not the other way around.

ARTHUR: Would someone tell me what on earth is going on?

MORDRED: Let me think. No. Now go to sleep. _(he casts a spell on Arthur that makes him crumple to the ground, unconscious.)_

GWEN: No! Arthur!

MERLIN: And that brings the tally of Arthur falling unconscious since I've met him to…7,347. You would think there would be brain damage by now.

MORDRED: Do you tally up how often you fall unconscious as well? Because soon there'll be another one added to that list! _(he casts the spell at Merlin too, but he deflects it. Easily.)_

MERLIN: Look, you already know I'm Emrys. Arthur's unconscious. What's to keep me from using magic to defend myself now?

MORGANA: You forgot one thing. Guinevere's here.

MERLIN: Oh… right. Hahaha…Gwen?

GWEN: Merlin… Merlin you…you…

MERLIN: Gwen, I- _(as he is distracted Mordred knocks him unconscious with the spell. Poor Merlin.)_

AGRAVAINE: Excellent! Let's bring them in!

MORGANA: Agravaine…

AGRAVAINE: I mean… let's listen to Lady Morgana. And I'll shut up.

MORDRED: Guinevere, it would be in your best interest not to interfere. Hey, that rhymes…

MORGANA: King Arthur and his pet sorcerer Emrys will be burned at the stake within the hour! Bring them inside!

_(Mordred uses magic to lift Arthur and Merlin into the air and into the castle. Gwen watches, horrified, but she can do nothing. The villains walk back into the castle and the doors slam shut.) _

GWEN: Merlin…has…magic?

END OF ACT I

TO BE CONTINUED…

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**Gotta love Merlin and Arthur! I was cracking up writing this part... wow, that makes me sound cool. :P**

**Please review, reviews make my day! **


	3. Act II, Part 1

**So here's the start of Act II! **

**And a special thanks to gorgeousangel for reviewing. You make my day! :D**

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ACT II

_(The scene begins just as the last one started. Gwen is sitting in the middle of the stage, staring at the door through which Agravaine, Mordred, and Morgana just dragged Arthur and Merlin. She is majorly in shock because, as you know, she just discovered that Merlin has magic. Now, since we've known he had magic since the moment we heard about the show, it's no surprise to us. But just imagine how shocked and horrified Gwen must feel in this moment. Her true love has just been captured and is going to be executed, along with her best friend, who she has just discovered has been practicing illegal magical activities since birth. That's kind of a lot to take in. But again, I digress. Most people don't even read the stage directions, anyway. So I'll stop now and get on with the show. And by the way, the knights just ran back onstage.)_

LANCELOT: _(seeing Gwen)_ Gwen! What happened? We just heard yelling...

LEON: Was Arthur here? I thought I heard him...

GWAINE: And Merlin! We heard Merlin too!

GWEN: They... they... Yes. They are here.

ELYAN: Where are they?

GWEN: Morgana and Mordred caught them.

LEON: No!

ELYAN: What are they going to do?

GWEN: It is said they are both to die within the hour, before the tournament begins.

LANCELOT: What are we going to do? They're going to kill Arthur and Merlin, and that guy with epic rippling muscles and sleeveless chainmail. _(looks carefully at Gwen) _Gwen, are you alright?

GWAINE: Of course she's not alright! Merlin is going to be executed!

LEON: And Arthur.

ELYAN: And Percival.

GWAINE: Yeah, yeah, the princess and the epic rippling muscles dude too. But they're going to kill Merlin!

GWEN: I... I'm alright. I just... need to be alone for a moment.

ELYAN: Are you sure?

GWEN: Yes. I'll give you all a pep talk in a moment. First I have to get all angsty.

GWAINE: Oh, yes, right. The angst. Well, don't take too long.

GWEN: I won't. Go on. _(she shooes them offstage. she ensures they really are gone before turning back to the audience.)_ Holy bikini. Merlin has magic. I have no idea how to take this. I mean, Merlin's my best friend. He's not evil. But all magic is evil. That's been proven time and time again. How could Merlin have magic? How could he be a sorcerer? _(Lancelot sneaks back onstage and waits behind Gwen, listening)_ Has he been pretending this whole time to be our friend? But if he had been, why would he keep it up now, when Morgana and Mordred are in control of Camelot? And why would they want to kill him? Nothing makes sense!

LANCELOT: Gwen?

GWEN: Ah! Lancelot! Don't interupt my angsty rant! I need to release all my conflicting emotions before I can come to a logical conclusion that will determine the rest of the storyline!

LANCELOT: Sorry, I just couldn't help but overhear... Are you ranting about Merlin?

GWEN: Uh... yes. Yes I am. How did you know?

LANCELOT: You said stuff about magic.

GWEN: You... you know he has magic?

LANCELOT: I've known about it since right after I met him.

GWEN: And you've never said anything?

LANCELOT: What would have happened if I did? Merlin would've been arrested and executed.

GWEN: Good point.

LANCELOT: Well, anyway, just thought I'd mention that Merlin's not evil. Just because he has magic doesn't mean he's out to kill Arthur and take over Camelot.

GWEN: Oh, I know.

LANCELOT: You...do?

GWEN: Yeah. I mean, now that I think about it, it's pretty obvious. If Merlin was evil he'd have had plenty of opportunities to kill Arthur, since he's his manservant. Hm. Okay, yeah, I'm good with it.

LANCELOT: You sure? That was pretty fast.

GWEN: I get over things pretty quickly. Think about how fast I got over the whole thing in episode five of season four when Arthur broke up with me and then just as quickly changed his mind...and I didn't even really care.

LANCELOT: Oh, no, Gwen you forget that by that point in the series, I'm dead. I don't remember any of that.

GWEN: Oh, that's right. So how are you still alive for this?

LANCELOT: Who knows? Why don't you ask the writer?

GWEN: Okay. PagieThePanda!

PAGIETHEPANDA_: (my voice coming mysteriously from the sky)_ What's up?

GWEN: Why is Lancelot alive? Uther died in the series but you don't have him in here.

LANCELOT: Yeah, and so did Nimueh, Balinor, Morgause, Cenred, and countless numbers of Camelot's knights and guards. Oh, and Freya. I'm sure Merlin would like to have her back.

PAGIETHEPANDA: I wanted to have four knights, and since Percival had to take the place of Little John in the Robin Hood script, I resurrected you. But I can make you die again if you'd like.

LANCELOT: Oh, no, actually, that's fine- AK! _(he crumples to the ground, dead.)_

GWEN: Hey! You weren't supposed to kill him! Now we'll only have three knights to retake Camelot with!

PAGIETHEPANDA: Hm. Good point. Okay, back to life with you.

LANCELOT_: (gasping)_ Don't... ever...do...that...again!

PAGIETHEPANDA: Note taken. Okay, stop talking to me, I'm not supposed to be in the play, anyway. And I'm bored with this conversation. Cue the other knights!

_(The knights all stumble onstage like they've been pushed) _

LEON: Woah! Hey, we're onstage now.

ELYAN: You all done being angsty, Gwen?

GWEN: Yup. I'm good now.

GWAINE: About time! Now let's go save Merlin!

LEON: And Arthur and Percival.

GWAINE: Yeah. Of course.

ELYAN: But how? There are only four of us-

GWEN: Five.

LEON: That's true. What could only the four of us do?

GWEN: Five of us. There are five of us.

ELYAN: I don't know if we could do anything, with only four of us-

GWEN: Guys, there are five of us! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't fight for those I love!

GWAINE: Oh, we know. We weren't excluding you, Gwen. We were excluding Lancelot.

LANCELOT: Uh, what? Why?

GWAINE: You're dead.

LANCELOT: No I'm not. Not here, anyway.

ELYAN: Haha, real funny Lancelot.

LEON: We all know about it. You don't have to keep it a secret anymore.

LANCELOT: But no... wait, really, I'm alive!

GWAINE: Ha! Yeah right. Okay men... and woman... let's make a plan!

ELYAN: That's where we got stuck earlier.

LANCELOT: This makes no sense! How could you all think I'm dead now, when in the first act I was still alive?

GWAINE: Lots of things can happen in an intermission...

LEON: Lots and lots of things...

GWEN: Come on guys, we're wasting time. We all know Lancelot's dead.

LANCELOT: What? Gwen, I was JUST talking to you!

GWEN: Arthur, Merlin, and Percival are counting on us! Here's our plan: We wait until they come out to execute them. Then we surround them and demand justice!

LEON: It might work...

GWEN: It will work!

ELYAN: Wait a second. We're forgetting one big thing. Morgana and Mordred have magic. Swords can't fight against magic.

GWEN: But...magic can fight against magic.

LEON: What do you mean?

LANCELOT: Gwen...

GWEN: Look, I know this sounds backwards, but it is incredibly important that we rescue Merlin first.

GWAINE: Yeah! That's right! Merlin!

LEON: Why? I mean he's a good man and a close friend to all of us, but shouldn't we rescue the king first?

GWEN: Just trust me. If we rescue Merlin first, everything will turn out fine.

ELYAN: Oh, she's talking about the Merlin luck!

LEON: Oh, yes, of course, the Merlin luck.

GWEN: The what?

GWAINE: See Gwen, it's something we knights have noticed over our many escapades with the king and his loyal manservant. Nothing ever happens when Merlin comes with us.

ELYAN: Bandits attack, and we easily defeat all of them. We run into a monster, it somehow dies mysteriously. We get injured, in the morning we're somehow perfectly healthy.

LEON: And it only happens when we bring Merlin along. He's got some sort of luck about him.

GWEN: Yeah...luck. Uh, yes, I am talking about the Merlin luck. So just be sure you release Merlin first. Everything else will be taken care of.

GWAINE: Alright! I like this plan!_ (he snatches Lancelot's sword from out of his hand)_ Here Gwen, use Lancelot's sword. I'm sure he would have wanted you to.

LANCELOT: Hey! No! I need to use that!

GWEN: Thank you Gwaine. I'm sure you're right.

LANCELOT: I... I need that...

GWEN: Everyone form a circle with your sword hidden behind your back. When Morgana and Mordred are in the middle we surround them and demand justice_! (all the knights but Lancelot stumble into a line and hide their swords. Gwen stands at the end of the line, looking determined. Lancelot stands just outside the line, looking lost)_

LANCELOT: I don't understand...

_(The door to the palace opens suddenly and Morgana, Mordred, and Agravaine come out, looking very smug and triumphant. Arthur and Percival are led on behind them with their hands bound and sacks on their heads. Merlin is carried on last, still unconscious. I guess that's the only way they could think to contain such a powerful warlock. Poor Merlin. :( )_

ELYAN: _(whispering) _Uh oh. We've got a problem. Merlin's unconscious.

LEON: What do we do now?

GWEN: Uh...

GWAINE: We... IMPROVISE! _(he chucks an apple which he happens to have _**(because Gwaine always has apples)**_ at Morgana. It hits her head with a solid 'thunk')_

MORGANA: Ow! Who did that! Who?

GWAINE: It's May Day, Lady Morgana!

MORGANA: You! Sir Gwaine! Did you throw that apple?

GWAINE: Of course I did! It's one of the traditions of May Day!

MORDRED: Throwing apples at people?

GWAINE: Yes, my Lord Mordred!

MORGANA: That's ridiculous. I've never heard of such traditions.

GWAINE: Well, obviously, you've never celebrated May Day at the tavern.

_(Morgana and Mordred walk towards Gwaine, leaving their prisoners alone with Agravaine. The other knights and Gwen hurry over to the prisoners) _

MORDRED: I should hope not.

AGRAVAINE: _(pulling out his sword)_ My Lord, My Lady! The prisoners-

MORGANA: Shut up Agravaine!

AGRAVAINE: But... the knights- _(Leon knocks him out soundly with the hilt of his sword. the others hurry to untie Arthur and Percival and attempt to rouse Merlin.) _

MORDRED: Just shut up. We're busy taunting this annoying drunkard of a knight.

MORGANA: Why Arthur even knighted you is a mystery to me.

GWAINE: Maybe it's because I'm so very clever.

MORDRED: Ha! Clever? You?

GWAINE: Indeed, my Lord. In fact, I'm very, very, very... _(he glances towards the others. Arthur and Percival are free and give him a big thumbs up. Merlin is still out of it)..._very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very-

MORGANA: Enough already! Very what?

GWAINE: Good at providing distractions.

MORGANA: What kind of idiotic-

MORDRED: Morgana, look behind us. _(they both turn to see all the knights, Gwen, Arthur, and Percival upright and armed, Merlin still lying asleep behind them)_

MORGANA: Oh. That kind of distraction.

ARTHUR: Morgana! As The rightful King of Camelot, I demand you leave my kingdom at once!

MORGANA: Or what, Arthur? You'll kill me? You do not have the power.

LANCELOT: Hey! Arthur! You know me, I'm alive right?

ARTHUR: No, you died a long time ago Lancelot. And stop distracting me! Morgana, I don't want to hurt you…

MORGANA: Hurt ME? I'm the all-powerful sorceress, and you're afraid of hurting ME?

MORDRED: And she's got me to help. I'm a warlock, by the way. Just like your little friend there, Emrys.

MORGANA: Ah yes, how could I forget about Emrys!

ARTHUR: I don't know anyone by the name of Emrys. And I don't condone the use of magic.

GWEN: _(kneeling by Merlin)_ Come on Merlin! You've got to wake up now!

MORGANA: Oh, trying to rouse him, are you Gwen? I'm afraid talking won't do anything for you. Only the most powerful of warlocks could escape from the deep sleep Mordred has put him in.

MORDRED: He'd have to be a Dragonlord as well.

LANCELOT: Well, that's perfect. Come on Merlin, this is easy!

ARTHUR: What have you done to my manservant?

MORDRED: We will deal with Emrys later. You should be more worried about yourself.

ARTHUR: Who is this Emrys you keep talking about? You mentioned him in the first act as well.

MORGANA: You still don't know? Merlin is Emrys. Merlin has magic.

_DUN-DUN-DUH!_

TO BE CONTINUED…

* * *

**My favorite line I wrote in this play was in this section. Any guesses which one? :)**

**As always, please review! **


	4. Act II, Part 2

**Yay hooray! Congrats, TeamKoschei! You got my favorite quote correct! It was Gwaine's, "Well, obviously, you've never celebrated May Day at the tavern." Teehee. **

**Thanks again to those who reviewed! Here's the last section!**

* * *

_(There is a dramatic pause. DUN DUN DUH!) _

ARTHUR: That's impossible.

MORGANA: Oh, come now Arthur! It's totally obvious!

MORDRED: Ah, Morgana, may I remind you that you only figured it out because I told you…

ARTHUR: I don't believe a word you're saying. You're just making things up to make me angry.

GWEN: _(still talking to Merlin)_ Please, Merlin, please wake up! You're powerful enough, you can do it!

MORGANA: If only that were true.

MORDRED: And now, it is time for you to DIE! _(he disarms all the good guys with magic and throws a magic dagger towards Arthur.) _

LEON: No!

ELYAN: No!

LANCELOT: I'm not dead!

GWAINE: _(throwing one into the air)_ Apples!

PERCIVAL: Sleeveless chainmail!

GWEN: No! Arthur!

_(the dagger is about to hit Arthur, when suddenly he is knocked off his feet by…)_

MERLIN: Phew! I guess hearing that the prat was in danger was enough to get me up. Who knew. I guess that's destiny for ya.

LEON: Hooray! Arthur's not dead!

ELYAN: Hooray! Merlin's awake!

LANCELOT: Seriously guys, I'M NOT DEAD!

GWAINE: _(throwing more into the air)_ More apples!

PERCIVAL: Hm. We've past the climax. The plot's starting to come to an end now then.

GWAINE: Hey Merlin! _(he chucks an apple at him)_

MERLIN: Ow! What was that for?

GWAINE: _(shrugs)_ It's May Day.

ARTHUR: Merlin, you idiot, get off me!

MERLIN: Oh, yes, of course sire, right away sire. Not that I just saved your life or anything like that...

GWEN: Oh, Merlin, thank heavens you're awake!

MORGANA: Mordred! You said he wouldn't be able to break out of it!

MORDRED: I...I didn't think he'd be able to! Only someone immensely powerful could do that...

LANCELOT: Merlin! It's me, Lancelot! I'm not dead, right?

MERLIN: Gwen, did you hear something?

LANCELOT: Merlin! Come on!

MERLIN: Yeah, no, actually, it must have just been my imagination.

LANCELOT: Oh, for goodness sakes, Merlin! I would have thought that you, with all your epic magic powers and Dragonlord abilities you'd be able to tell that I'M NOT DEAD!

ARTHUR: Wait, what? What did you just say?

LANCELOT: Arthur! You're talking to me! I'm alive, right?

ARTHUR: Of course you're alive, otherwise you'd be dead.

MERLIN: Very observant of you, sire.

ARTHUR: Shut up Merlin. No, Lancelot, you said something about Merlin...having magic?

LANCELOT: Ah. Um...

MERLIN: He must have been hit on the head. Right, Lancelot? _(gives him a glare)_

MORGANA: But my dear Merlin, you must know he's right.

MORDRED: You are Emrys, and your powers have been proven in your ability to break free of my spell.

MERLIN: Look, I don't know what-

LANCELOT: I'm alive! Everyone remembers now! I'm alive!

ELYAN: Yeah, he was hit on the head.

LEON: Poor guy.

PERCIVAL: I know right? He doesn't have sleeveless chainmail.

MORDRED: Silence! You all seem to forget that you are still at our mercy. Morgana and I are the most powerful magicians in this age! You and your puny swords have no power here!

ARTHUR: I once saved your life, Mordred! Did you forget about that?

MORDRED: That was years ago, and your crimes against magic since then have far outdone any good you did in the past.

ARTHUR: Crimes? I only defended my kingdom against those who would destroy it!

MORGANA: You mean those with magic? Oh, Arthur, how you've been deceived!

ARTHUR: What?

MORGANA: How many times do we have to say it before it's finally hammered into your thick skull? You heard Lancelot earlier. And me, for that matter. Merlin has magic.

MERLIN: Nice going, Lance.

LANCELOT: Sorry.

ARTHUR: That's... that's impossible! Merlin's too... too... Merlin to have magic!

LEON: Yeah, he's always been a friend to Camelot.

ELYAN: He'd never betray us by using magic.

GWAINE: And he's my best friend!

LANCELOT: I was hit on the head! I didn't mean it!

MORDRED: Don't be ridiculous. It's about time Arthur found out the truth anyway.

MORGANA: So how does it feel, dear brother, to know that your best friend has been betraying you for years?

ARTHUR: Look, I still don't believe you. You're just making things up to get me upset.

MORDRED: Oh yeah? What about… THIS? _(he suddenly throws a fireball towards Arthur's chest. Without thinking, Merlin flicks his hand and it shoots off in the opposite direction, avoiding everyone) _

MERLIN: Oops. Default mode.

ARTHUR: _(in shock)_ M...M…Mer…Mer…

MERLIN: It's Merlin, sire.

ARTHUR: You idiot! You just used magic! That's illegal! And evil!

GWEN: Arthur, listen-

LANCELOT: He's not evil, Merlin's not-

GWAINE: Ooo boy! Merlin's got magic? I bet he knows how to have a REALLY good time at the tavern…

PERCIVAL: Hm. Saw this coming.

ELYAN: Of course you did. You know the plot.

MERLIN: Look, Arthur, I've never done anything to hurt you or Camelot, really-

ARTHUR: Really?

MERLIN: Really.

ARTHUR: You sure?

MERLIN: Sure I'm sure.

ARTHUR: Really?

MERLIN: Really.

ARTHUR: Hm. I'm not so sure.

MERLIN: You should be sure.

ARTHUR: Sure I should be sure, but I just don't know for sure.

MERLIN: Really?

ARTHUR: Really.

MERLIN: What if I told you that for sure-

MORGANA: Enough with this prattle! Arthur, why aren't you freaking out more? I would have thought this major twist in the epic bromantic relationship you've got going here would be enough to shatter it forever…

ARTHUR: What? Shatter my bromance with Merlin? Forever? Nothing could make that happen!

MERLIN: Aw, Arthur, you're making me blush.

ARTHUR: Shut up Merlin. That doesn't mean I'm not mad at you.

MERLIN: But you just said-

ARTHUR: Ah, I'll yell at you about it later. But right now, I need you to take out these two.

MERLIN: With…magic?

ARTHUR: No, with your incredible wit. Yes, you imbecile, your magic!

MERLIN: You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that. _(turns to Morgana and Mordred)_ Alright you two, time to feel the full wrath of EMRYS!

_(there is an epic magic battle… well, actually more like Merlin kicks bootie. And Morgana and Mordred are defeated. Horrifically. )_

MORDRED: _(turning to leave)_ This isn't the end, Emrys! I will never forgive, and I will never-

MERLIN: Forget, yeah, you've said that already. Good stuff. Get going.

MORGANA: You will pay for this, Merlin! Mark my words! We will be back, and next time we will destroy you!

MERLIN: Hm. You know, that threat's getting a little old. Especially since the last few times you said it…nothing happened.

MORGANA: Why you- _(lunging at him)_

MERLIN: _(smashing her backwards with magic)_ Look, I could've killed you. Years ago. I'm giving you the chance to escape with your life. I suggest you take it.

MORDRED: Come, Morgana! We have no choice!

MORGANA: Very well. Goodbye, Emrys. Next time you will not be so lucky! _(they disappear in a burst of smoke)_

MERLIN: Again with the empty threats… _(he suddenly notices how silent it is around him. Glancing behind him, Merlin sees everyone else staring at him in wide-eyed wonder.)_ Oh…right…uh… hi guys… Yeah, um…

GWEN: Merlin… that was incredible!

GWAINE: That was the coolest thing ever! I can't wait to get you drunk!

MERLIN: Gwaine, you know I don't drink.

GWAINE: Exactly!

ELYAN: That was...astounding, Merlin!

LEON: I can't believe you're so powerful!

PERCIVAL: I can. It's all part of the-

ELYAN: Plot, yes, we know!

ARTHUR: Merlin…

MERLIN: Yes Arthur?

ARTHUR: If I ever call you a girl, or a coward, or a useless, simple-minded fool again, you have my permission to turn me into a toad.

MERLIN: Really?

ARTHUR: No, of course not! Idiot.

MERLIN: Well, technically, being the most powerful warlock in existence, I don't really need your permission…

ARTHUR: Merlin…

GWEN: Is everyone alright?

LEON: Yes, We're all fine.

LANCELOT: Even me!

LEON: Did you guys hear something?

GWAINE: Hm? No.

LANCELOT: Oh, for goodness sake!

GWEN: Thank goodness! Let's go inside and get all cleaned up. It's about time Camelot had its rightful king back!

GWAINE: We also ought to celebrate!

ELYAN: Gwaine…

GWAINE: What? It's still May Day! And I've got plenty of apples…

PERCIVAL: I guess I'm a knight now, huh?

LEON: Uh, yeah. I guess you are.

ELYAN: Hey, what about your sister? The pregnant one?

PERCIVAL: Oh, right. I should probably go check on her.

GWAINE: Come, knightly knights! Let's go check on the pregnant one!

LEON: Gwaine…

GWAINE: It'll be fun! Besides, baby showers are the best! I once went to one where-

ELYAN: Gwaine, I really don't think we want to know.

LEON: Come men, Gaius's chambers are this way.

GWAINE: Hooray, babies! _(they go offstage, leaving Gwen, Arthur, Merlin, Lancelot, and a still unconscious Agravaine onstage) _

ARTHUR: You know, Gwaine worries me sometimes.

MERLIN: Tell me about it.

GWEN: Arthur, Merlin, it's so wonderful to have you back home and safe.

ARTHUR: And it's wonderful to be back, Guinevere. I've missed you… _(he leans in to kiss her and Merlin snickers)_ What?

MERLIN: Ha…nothing. Carry on.

ARTHUR: Listen you lying warlock…manservant…friend… Emrys person! I still need to have a serious discussion with you!

MERLIN: Sounds like a plan. Just try not to hurt yourself too much.

ARTHUR: In fact, let's have it right now. _(he walks forward, grabs Merlin by the ear, and drags him into the castle)_

MERLIN: Hey, hey- ow! That hurts! Let go! Ow! Arthur! _(the castle door slams shut behind them)_

GWEN: Everything's finally going back to normal. _(she looks mournfully down at the sword in her hand)_ If only Lancelot weren't dead. He was a good friend. _(she looks at the sword again, then drops it)_ Oh well. I love Arthur anyways. And someday I'll be Queen! Hooray! _(she runs into the castle joyfully.)_

LANCELOT: Fine. I give up. I'm dead now. Darn. WILL NO ONE LISTEN TO ME?

AGRAVAINE: _(groggily, waking up)_ I'll listen to you…

LANCELOT: Shut up Agravaine. You're dead.

AGRAVAINE: Oh. Well, that would explain a lot.

GWAINE: _(from offstage)_ IT'S A BABY GIRL! _(an apple goes flying onstage and hits Agravaine)_

AGRAVAINE: Ow! What the…

LANCELOT: It's May Day, Lord Agravaine.

AGRAVAINE: Oh. Right.

_(the stage goes black)_

THE END!

* * *

**Aaaaaand that's it! Thanks for reading! It was certainly a ton of fun to write! :D**


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